To everything there is a season

To everything
There is a season
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything
There is a season
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time to build up,a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together

To everything
There is a season
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing

To everything
There is a season
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time for peace, I swear its not too late

The seasons of my life seem to be moving quicker and quicker with the close and dawn of each new day. If its true that we reap what we sow then I am reaping the benefits of a youth laden with shortsighted challenges. I sowed the seeds for one life or so I thought and it did not come to fruition. It is now for another. The twisted part is that the seeds we each sowed are coming true for the either and where does that leave us but coveting what the other has once more. It has always been the foundation of who we were together, coveting the things the other achieved.

However as the song says, " A time for peace, I swear its not to late" I pray for that peace to come to both of us.

Im off to see the wizzard who has a really big ass needle

Well folks today is the day for spinal tap number two...Otherwise known as a lumbar puncture. I have not yet decided which sounds worse tap or puncture. I had my first one in November and you can bet I was nervous as hell. At this point it feels a little bit old hat except that I am thirsty as hell and can have nothing to drink until after the procedure. Last time they had me so drugged up that I woke up at one point and was singing to them and laughing but felt no real pain which is good. The sucky part is my stomach gets upset after and only ginger ale helps soothe it. No ginger ale for me this time because of all the meds they have me on makes ginger ale or anything with bubbles taste like ass. GO ME.

Eyes

I had never thought that I let what I could see around me all the time pass me by but as I stare down the possibility of loosing my sight it seems I notice even the most minute of details. When the sun shines I love to watch a drop of rain on a leaf. It can entertain me for hours sometimes. Its an amazing dance as it glides its way down the leaf hanging for what seems like an eternity from the very tip. As it holds on to its cocoon of water before finally dropping and changing forms on the ground, the sun will catch it and it seems the whole world is reflected there and suddenly my problems seem so small.

I was diagnosed with pseudo tumor cerebri last fall. Basically that means the my body does not absorb spinal fluid the way it is supposed to so it collects in that big head of mine and has done some lasting damage to my eyes. I will be going in on Tuesday for a spinal tap to relieve some of the pressure so that I have a chance of maintaing sight for the next three weeks. That is obviously a priority for me and on February 26 i will be having major eye surgery. They will be cutting my eye muscle and moving my eye to the side into my skull so they can cut a little window in the back of the eye to allow fluid to drain. Dangerous but not to life threatening usually.

My friend is worried it will change what he calls my "beautiful eyes", I worry it will change how I see the world around me.

The smell of victory.

I settled four arbitration's today and tomorrow we sign on the dotted line. That is a great thing when you know that you have the ability to force the Employer to do the right thing. This is my first post and I will try to keep up with it better. Stay tuned....